Just Say No....!!!

　

　
There are countless unspoken rules and regulations around dating and relationships, yet we repeatedly insist on learning from experience before concurring that we should have listened to the voice of reason. Even if that did come from our mum.

Here are just a few of the many lessons I have learned from my colourful (chequered?!) relationship past of when it’s best to Just. Say. No. (Not that I would listen to my own advice … )

When you hooked up in a club last Saturday Sitting across the table from someone you were dry humping down the local joint last week is painful. Unless you’re only after one thing, but then I wouldn’t bother with the courtesy cocktail.

When his accent is too strong for regular conversationIf early conversations are peppered with ‘what?’ ‘huh?’ and ‘sorry?’ before ignorant assent, followed by your worrying if you’ve just declared allegiance to the far right, then the relationship will be a struggle.

When you’re more into him than he is into youYou will send too many text messages. You will Google him regularly and you will find a reason to be outside his office at 5.30 on a weekday. It’s really not healthy.

When you are as mismatched as cheese and vinegar crispsNo matter how intriguing it may seem you know it’s not going to work. Otherwise it would have already been invented.

When he’s questioning his sexualityJust wait until he’s figured it all out. Take my word for it.

When a blast from the past appears on FacebookWhenever that ‘hey, how’s it going?’ message pops up on screen, no matter how long after the ending of a relationship, it’s best to quickly hit ‘delete’. It finished for a reason.

When he’s a Latin salsa instructor and you’re on your gap yearNeed I say more? (Though it was great fun whilst it lasted…)